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Elizabeth Lovelace wrote:

Hi, guys —

A very dear friend of mine recently filed for divorce. Even after her husband tried everything in his power to keep their marriage from ending, she was unable to overcome her affliction and find the strength to stay in the marriage. She suffers from (RAD) Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Needless to say, their marriage was unhealthy from the start. The relationship is amicable, they are both Catholic, and share four beautiful children. They will seek an annulment once the divorce is final.

She has since moved out of the home into an apartment but now is wanting to share the home. Meaning, one parent will leave and stay in the apartment while the other stays in the home with the children during their parenting time. They would create a schedule and alternate parenting time schedules in the shared home. I'm really confused about this.

  • What is the Church's teachings and advice for a situation like this?

I would think this would be very confusing to the children. Please advise.

Thank You,


  { What's the Church's advice on shared parenting amid two homes while a divorce is being finalized? }

Bob replied:


If the parents are determined to separate then the damage is done; the children's lives will never be the same. That being said, minimizing the disruptive aspects of their lives is of benefit to some degree.

Some parents have employed this arrangement to try and minimize the children's disruption — so their motive is admirable even if its benefit cannot be objectively measured. Essentially, they are trying to do their best in terrible circumstances.

The Church has no official teaching on this aspect but would certainly encourage the best care possible for the children.



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