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WantToRaiseMyChildrenCatholic wrote:

Hi, guys —

My husband and I recently got married and almost immediately got pregnant.

Before we married, I stated:

  • I wanted to marry someone who was Catholic.
  • I wanted to be married in the Catholic church and
  • raise my children Catholic.

My fiancé at the time went through the RCIA process without any prompting from me and became Catholic although hung on firmly to his beliefs in the Bible (which knowing the Bible to me was never a bad thing). We went through all the classes and met with a sponsor couple. He said he understood what it meant to raise our children in the faith. We did not do any of the interfaith questions because he was a recently confirmed Catholic.

Almost as soon as I got pregnant, he stated:

  • he did not fully understand what he committed to
  • he refused to let me raise them in the Catholic faith, and
  • would refuse to let me take them to Faith Formation, despite the fact that I taught Faith Formation before we met and he knew how important it is to me.

He's gone as far as to say that he won't even let me be alone with our child in fear that I'll teach them the faith during that time. He's said because he is the father, I should submit to him and he will never let me take them to Faith Formation and will stop me from doing so.

I have no qualms in him teaching the Bible to our child, which is what he wants to do, and I am not trying to force him into raising the child Catholic. I just want to honor my vows that I made about raising our children in the Catholic faith.

I know I have grounds for annulment but even with that, I do not see that fixing the problem and I do not want to break the vows that I made on the day of my wedding.

I love my husband and want to stay with him.

I am just not sure what I can physically do to raise our child Catholic.


  { With a vacillating husband what can I do to keep both my Wedding vows and Baptismal vows? }

Mike replied:

Dear WantToRaiseMyChildrenCatholic,

I admire that you wish to keep your marriage vows but if your husband is not willing to keep a faith promise he made to you and the Church, one has to wonder what other future promises he will not be wiling to keep. I sense what he knows about the Bible is still rooted in Protestant beliefs, which have a built-in bias against the Church because many Scripture passages are interpreted privately by Protestant congregations.

Check out my Scripture Passages web page for help:

I would make an appointment with your local pastor (or a priest) known for his faithfulness to the Church to figure out the best way to rectify this situation. My married colleagues may have more advice on your situation.

As with all difficult situations, pray that he has a change of heart and remind him that he will never truly understand the Catholic Church with a [Sola Scripture/Protestant] mind set.

The Entire Word [both Written and Oral Tradition] can only be truly understood with a Catholic view of Church and Biblical history.

I hope this helps,


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