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WantToGetMarriedBut wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am a Baptist and my boyfriend is Catholic, yet we really want to get married. I agreed to marry in the Catholic Church because his family has a very strong faith in the Church and it would not go over well if we didn't have a Catholic ceremony.

  • Since I am not Catholic, will I have to go to classes to marry him?

I'm very scared to get married in the Catholic Church because I do not have a solid understanding of all of the prayers and things done in the Mass.

Please help,


  { Since I am not Catholic, will I have to go to classes and become Catholic to marry my fiancé? }

Bob replied:

Dear friend,

You are very stressed. At least that comes through, so stop and breathe, then trust God to help you do what is necessary. You don't have to become Catholic to get married in the Catholic Church, but you would have to agree to be open to children and raise them as Catholics.

Catholics view marriage as a Sacrament, a sacred union that God ordained to make the two one flesh, and you can see what that implies. There is no better illustration of that than children — they literally are born of both yours and his flesh — an openness that nothing else can manifest as profoundly.

If you are open to becoming Catholic, because you want your new family to be more unified and worship together, and you have an openness to God's lead, there really isn't anything to worry about. You don't have to do it by the wedding, and the RCIA program at most parishes is easy.

Think about it, pray about it, talk to your future husband, but make sure God is firmly planted as the unifying principle in your marriage. There will come a day when you will literally want to kill him (just a little anyway) and God will help you through.

I'll keep both of you in my prayers and I wish you the best.


Bob Kirby

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