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David Chee Cheong Lim wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • Is it alright for a divorcee to talk about chastity, especially to the youths?

Her annulment has not been completed and she already has another partner.


  { Is it alright for a divorcee with a partner, whose annulment is incomplete, to talk about chastity? }

Paul replied:

Dear David,

  • Does it make sense that one who is publicly living unchastely to talk to students about chastity?

That is the obvious question to ask.


David replied:

Yes, I agree.

Apparently, they are girlfriend and boyfriend however this lady did have a daughter from her previous marriage. I don't know whether there is any sexual activity going on between them but both are Catholic and they were caught kissing in some place. The lady is also a pastoral worker within our parish and they are organizing talks and planning to speak to the young people about chastity.

I would like to think that this is an ignorant action by this lady. It would have been better to have a religious person talk about this subject otherwise it will give the young people listening and observing the wrong impression of the Catholic faith and chastity.

Your advice, please, would be appreciated.


Paul replied:

My colleagues may chime in with their take on this but to me, logic dictates there can be no romantic relationship of any kind with a third party while a marriage is presumed valid.

Therefore, if what you state is accurate, this woman's chastity message could seem contradictory or send the wrong message to students.

Her pastoral work in general should also be questioned by the pastor.


Eric replied:


I agree; it sends the wrong signals. If the students start asking questions about her personal situation it could be a scandal (i.e. a cause for sin or misunderstanding about the faith).

There may be an issue of terminology here, Paul.

It depends on what David means by partner. Most of us would think this means sexual partner implying an active sexual life but I've heard people use this term merely in the sense of girlfriend or boyfriend.

I think we should give David an opportunity to clarify.


Paul replied:

True; I just assumed we should not have partners of any kind (unless business partners, etc.) if one's marriage is presumed valid.


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