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Andrew wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • What should a non-Catholic person do who has a lot of problems with the social part of attending Mass?
  • Is it really that good to just go there in order to be in the church instead of being home alone?

Attending Mass is actually very difficult. Maybe it's difficult to feel being a part of the church-goers group since they don't care if you attend Mass and coffee afterwards unlike a sport team or musical group where you would be needed and, therefore, feel more of a belonging.

  • What do you say about this?


  { What should a non-Catholic do who has problems with the social part of attending Mass? }

Bob replied:


You point out a lot of difficulties that many people have, and sometimes the Church as a whole has. The truth is, a God does not want us to be alone, so we do have to work at forming community.

  • For some that is a real challenge, and for others,
  • who are comfortable in community, they have as great a challenge at being outgoing to newcomers or strangers.

Often it isn't malice or prejudice, but lack of awareness or skill.

When I went through my adult conversion, God invited me (through a priest) to be the music leader for a prayer group. Looking at that experience in hindsight, that was God's Way of:

  • bringing me in
  • making me stay in, and
  • challenging me to overcome any prejudices, pride and fears that I had.

It worked. I hung in there, and today I love my Church, make a living making music, and have grown much more comfortable around all kinds of people.

So, since you are not Catholic, why not join RCIA . That way:

  • you can get more connected with others in the same boat
  • find a way to make at least a temporary commitment, and
  • make some friends.

From there who knows.

I bet God would have great things for you.


Bob Kirby

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