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Nadia Corlett wrote:

Hi, guys —

My husband and I have been married for 18 years with four children. We had a Catholic wedding, have baptized all of children, and all four have had their First Communion. Our children attend Catholic school and we attend Mass as a family as often as we can.

My husband loves the Catholic religion but hasn't gone through RCIA.

  • When can he receive Communion with our family?
  • Does he have to go through these classes?

He has been through all four children's CCD classes with them. I feel bad that he only receives a blessing at Communion time.

Thank you,


  { Can my non-Catholic husband receive if he hasn't taken RCIA but has been to our children's CCD? }

Fr. Jonathan replied:

Dear Nadia,

  • Is he baptized?

Fr. Jonathan

Nadia replied:

Hi Fr. Jonathan,

Yes, but he is not Catholic.


Fr. Jonathan replied:

Then he should enter the RCIA program and wait for Holy Communion.

The RCIA program should not be a cookie cutter program, i.e. the same for everyone. It should take into account where he is already.

Fr. Jonathan


Nadia replied:

Thanks Fr. Jonathan!


Bob replied:


Think back on when your husband made his vows to you in your marriage; it was a big deal. It meant he was buying into being with you for better or for worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health, physical attraction or no sex appeal — let's face it, marriage is an all in proposition. He thought about it, weighed his options and gave you himself, knowingly and purposely.

That is what becoming Catholic is supposed to look like: going all in. That means accepting Christ, His Church, and all the sickness and health that goes with it. The Church isn't always pretty, appealing, or fun to be with — but it is the source of Life and Goodness for all who partake of Her because Christ put Himself all in with Her.

So RCIA is the process of education and discernment for those who want to consider becoming Catholic and Holy Communion is the sacramental expression of that Covenant, once baptized; it can't be side-stepped. Your husband needs to discern for himself, not the kids, where he stands.

RCIA is the process for that. If there was a good reason to seek an alternate path, your priest could help him with that but, in any case, you should meet with your priest to discuss it.

In short, Holy Communion is like a marital act, it expresses something from the heart and soul about one's relationship, in this case, to Christ and His Church, so it can't be done without the corresponding commitment.

Even Beyoncé says,

If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it.


Bob Kirby

Nadia replied:

Hi Bob,

Thank you for your perspective on this.

I never thought of RCIA like this or as a sacramental expression of that Covenant compared to our marriage. I will make appointment with our priest.

Thank you so much for giving people like myself the opportunity to discuss great topics and ask questions.

Many thanks,

Nadia Corlett

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