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Timothy Charles wrote:

Hi, guys —


I am broken hearted as I write this question. Perhaps it's all my fault.

I was baptized Catholic and made First Holy communion when I was 10. My parents left the Catholic Church and became Protestant when I was 11.

39 years later I feel the call of the Catholic Church in my heart. I am divorced and remarried. My current wife is also divorced and we both have children from our previous marriage.

Both previous marriages were married by court only. I've been searching for God for years and finally I feel I found my new home! Me and my wife have been attending Mass everyday and receiving Communion. I did have a Confession last month from a priest but I did not go into much detail. My wife still goes to a Protestant church but supports me, by going with me to Mass.

Today, however, I spoke with my new pastor, and he told me that I need to have an annulment from my previous marriage . . . and I'm sure my wife will have to do the same! He also said that we would have to live life like a brother and sister, until this is all sorted out, . . . meaning no sex.

I told Father I did not know this and so we had a Confession. I have to do a Novena. I left and met my wife in the church. I told her what Father said and I could see tears in her eyes. She left the church and sat in back without receiving Holy Communion. I didn't know what to do but I stayed for Communion since the Father had heard my Confession. Nevertheless, I felt sad because my wife was not with me.

After Mass, we talked and she does not want to go through with an annulment.

  • We've been praying the Rosary every night
  • We've been going to Mass every night
  • I've been fasting, and
  • praying the Catholic Book of Hours.

I've never been so happy this last month. I'm finally home with God and family. Within hours, this was all taken from me. I went home and took down:

  • my Catholic pictures
  • Crosses
  • St. Mary statue
  • Rosary beads, and
  • Catholic books, and put them all in a box.

My home is empty, spiritually and I feel lost. My wife does not want to go through the annulment process because she feels its wrong. So now I cannot become Catholic.

My question is:

  • Do we both have to get annulments if I just want to become Catholic again?

If we do, then I can't come back home, and life will be meaningless to me. It already is.

Sorry if this does not make sense; I tried.

Timothy Charles

  { Can I still become a Catholic if my wife doesn't want to go through with an annulment? }

Fr. Jonathan replied:


You are a Catholic. You were baptized Catholic and you have not abandoned your faith.

Your parents action for you doesn't count as you abandoning the faith. Since you were a Catholic since birth your marriage was invalid because as a Catholic you were bound to follow Catholic form and you didn't, so you do not need an Annulment.

  • What was the faith of your wife's first husband?

Fr. Jonathan

Timothy replied:

Hi Fr. Jonathan,

My wife's first husband was Protestant, but a non-practicing Protestant. They were only married through the court. My wife was also born Catholic. When she came to the U.S. at 19 years old, she began attending a Protestant church.

I really want to devote the rest of my life as a Catholic.

Hope this helps. God bless.


Fr. Jonathan replied:

Hi, Timothy —

Sounds like she is a Catholic too. Everything could be in place for coming right into the Church.

Talk to a priest that knows what he is doing not that guy that seems to have given you poor information.

Fr. Jonathan

Timothy replied:


I will. Thank you!

I won't give up.

I will unbox everything, and continue praying my Rosary every night.


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