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Monique wrote:

Hi guys,

I christened my cousin's child 8 years ago. I asked to be the Godmother (which was a big mistake), but I was only 16 years old at the time. She accepted my offer because the Godmother she really wanted was a non-Catholic and so was the Godfather. After years of mentoring the child, he did not recognize me as his Godmother but recognized the other non-Catholic woman.

His mother and I got into a disagreement regarding the matter five years ago and I haven't spoke to them since. Now that I am older I want to do what is right as a Catholic.

  • Is it wrong for me to still disassociate myself?



  { Is it wrong for me to l disassociate myself as a Godmother if my Godson doesn't acknowledge me? }

Mary Ann replied:

Dear Monique,

Godmother is a spiritual relationship. You should model charity to your Godson. The fact that he doesn't personally relate to you and relates to the other person does not take anything away from your role, which is one of religious guidance and helping the parents fulfill their role.

Mary Ann

Bob replied:


  • If you have no relationship with the child how can you influence or mentor her?

I am confused as to the current status. I would prefer some contact rather than none and forego the title but retain the more important place of model in faith and friend.


Bob Kirby

Monique replied:

Thanks Mary Ann and Bob!

I have done just what you have suggested and model a good godparent by:

  • going to church
  • finishing school, and
  • working hard.

If his mother wants to consider the other young lady his godparent then that's fine by me. I will continue to be there and as he becomes an adult, I think he will come around.

Thank you for your help and advice. It has helped me plenty!

Warmest Regards,


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