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Anders Jansson wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am a person diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome so dealing with the social world is extremely difficult. I am really confused about it. What really confuses me is are the emotions, feelings, and sexuality.

Emotions, feelings, and sexuality tell us to be extroverted. I mean, if we think about this from a teleological view then we must say that such things have a purpose.

Sometimes when I meet the people, I really have a hard time showing my emotions, feelings, and affection. I guess it's that way with all people I meet. It seems like I have to be very cautious when it comes to expressing affection and emotions. This can also be applied to men as well although that would be a little bit different from [girls|women].

I often think about morality and ethics. I don't want to be that cautious person due to the fact that I would be pushing everything inside myself instead of following my human nature and being a social person.

  • What would be a good moral way to deal with this?
  • Are we too be afraid of expressing ourselves according to the Catholic way of thinking?

I have read about sexual morals and psychology but that's not always so practical. I just don't want to live my life the wrong way.

  • What is the Catholic way of dealing with this?

Anders

  { What would be a good moral way to deal with the social issues related to Asperger's Syndrome? }

Bob replied:

Anders,

Finding your way socially is often difficult for any person, never mind for one having Asperger's Syndrome. You are right in noting the teleology of things:

God meant us to be social, to form deep caring relationships, and ultimately to find a mate, . . . if it is according to His Will. Our social instincts drive us to that end. The social norms, however, vary from place to place, and time to time.

In the USA, a century ago it would not be uncommon for men of deep friendship to express their love to one another but today a vast homosexual agenda has clouded, tainted, and even suppressed that affection. The over-sexualization of things has ultimately defiled what was once a more pure way of relating to one another.

I would say focus on developing a couple of close friendships . . . persons that you can trust your feelings with and ones that share your faith, before looking to date or find a mate. There is no Catholic teaching for developing social skills but there are norms for dating in as much as we are called to chastity.

Peace,

Bob Kirby

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