Bringing you the "Good News" of Jesus Christ and His Church While PROMOTING CATHOLIC Apologetic Support groups loyal to the Holy Father and Church's magisterium
Home About
AskACatholic.com
What's New? Resources The Church Family Life Mass and
Adoration
Ask A Catholic
Knowledge base
AskACatholic Disclaimer
Search the
AskACatholic Database
Donate and
Support our work
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
New Questions
Cool Catholic Videos
About Saints
Disciplines and Practices
Purgatory and Indulgences
About the Holy Mass
About Mary
Searching and Confused
back
Homosexual Issues
Life and Family
No Salvation Outside the Church
Sacred Scripture
non-Catholic Cults
Justification and Salvation
The Pope and Papacy
The Sacraments
Relationships and Marriage situations
Specific people, organizations and events
Doctrine and Teachings
Specific Practices
Church Internals
Church History

Anonymous Al wrote:

Hi, guys —

My name is Al. I am an 18-year-old male. I was born and raised Catholic and have been through Baptism, received my First Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation, and Confirmation. Everything I have been taught since I was little was from the Catholic perspective from my mother. My older brother is trying to go the seminary and wants to be a priest. My family was very religious, (mostly my mother), praying the Rosary daily and attending Mass every Sunday and on Holy Days of Obligation.

In high school, we stopped praying the Rosary as a family and soon enough I stopped praying on my own. I still attended Mass every Sunday and on Holy Days of Obligation however I was not very religious. I believe in God and try to live though God's Law.

  • I have gone to Confession at least three times a year
  • helped those in need, and
  • have lived a good life.

However I am now in college away from my family. I still attend Mass every Sunday and on Holy days but I do not pray. I have had a lot of time to think and, with science and everything happening in the world, it's hard for me to continue believing in God. I still want to believe but when I pray nothing ever happens. I have my doubts here and there but I still feel the need to attend Mass.

I am having sex with one girl regularly and after thinking about pregnancy, I think if she got pregnant she would have an abortion. I have always thought God would never forgive me, but in this situation, it's not my choice. I have always been pro-life and argued the pro-life viewpoint but placed in my situation, I don't know what I should do anymore.

I believe if you live your life:

  • with good morals and values
  • helping others in need
  • being nice, generous, etc.

then good things will happen, however I'm not sure if it's because God is doing it or because everything just happens.

  • What should I do now?
  • Am I still a Catholic?

I have always been a Catholic but with my ideals, I don't know what to do.

Please help!

Al

  { With the influence of a college culture, science, no prayer life, and my sex life, what should I do? }

Mike replied:

Dear Al,

Thanks for the question.

My colleagues may have a different take, but here is mine.

You said:

  • What should I do now?
  • Am I still a Catholic?

You have to decide whether you wish to buy into the liberal, false philosophy you are receiving in college or whether you want to work on restoring that personal relationship with Jesus through a personal prayer life and the sacraments.

Many, especially in a college setting, view the Church’s beliefs as a hindrance when they are really for our own good.

A younger generation of people are incorrectly being taught that thinking between your legs is the best way to go but both men’s and women’s bodies were created with, a what I call, a hierarchy of pleasures.

This posting will explain it:

God only wants one thing from all men and women: For us to be the best person we can be. He wrote the playbook of how our bodies work, not:

  • liberal, tenured professors at colleges and universities or
  • old, bitter, fallen-away Catholic, who never were taught the faith correctly.

Yes, you are still Catholic and while I applaud that you are renewing your covenant with the Lord by getting to Mass when you should, you aren't practicing the faith.

You said:
I am having sex with one girl regularly and after thinking about pregnancy, I think if she got pregnant she would have an abortion. I have always thought God would never forgive me, but in this situation, it's not my choice. I have always been pro-life and argued the pro-life viewpoint but placed in my situation, I don't know what I should do anymore.

I don’t understand how you can say it’s not your choice when you chose to pop in bed with an unmarried woman and have sex plus women who say they are pro-choice are actually anti-choice.

  • What choice does the fetal man or woman have in a women’s womb?

Read my commentary here:

Before my father passed away, he left me with the following proverb:

A right always takes on a responsibility.

That said Al, you have to make a choice.

  • Do you want to be a faithful Catholic and faithful witness starting now until your Particular Judgment (or passing from this life) or
  • Do you want to be a duplicitous, dissenting Catholic who attends Mass and occasionally goes to Confession but has no really interest in cooperating with the sacramental graces are you receive. . . sacrilegious, if you are not practicing the faith?

We can do great things to make the world a far better place or far worst, demonic place but it all depends on how we use our free will.

You said:
I believe if you live your life:

  • with good morals and values
  • helping others in need
  • being nice, generous, etc.

then good things will happen, however I'm not sure if it's because God is doing it or because everything just happens.

We do make a distinction between God’s Divine Providence and His Permissive Will (allowing things to happen for a greater good) like weather events, etc. but things do not just happen.

To say things just happen, is to not use are brains. The Lord wishes to work through us but like the Blessed Virgin Mary, we have to say Yes! like she did.

You said:
I still want to believe, but when I pray nothing ever happens.

  • How do you know?

Maybe something is happening but you are not being made aware of the blessings you are receiving for a certain reason. That said, let’s say you are right. When it appears our prayers are not being answered, this may be a test or trail for the believer. It is like the Lord is saying:

  • Will Al remain faithful to his relationship with me if I draw back from him?

Many of the saints experienced this same dryness. If that is not the case, maybe God did answer your prayer but the answer was No. . . . for our own spiritual good.

My advice:

  • Find a faithful Catholic priest who can give you good counsel and advice. If you can’t find one, keep on looking.
  • Pray, and if you find it hard, ask the Lord to give you the grace to pray with:
    • Thanksgiving and gratitude for what you have received
    • Petition. Ask him for help. Tell him what you think you need. I do!, and
    • Faith, though we have to do our part by prayer and study.
  • Live a faithful sacramental life, renewing your covenant as you are currently doing though I would recommend going to Confession at least monthly. This is what the Catholic bishops of America have recommended.

I hope this helps,

Mike

Paul replied:

Dear Al,

Just to add my two cents to Mike's response, the very first thing you need to do is be clear and honest with yourself. Hypocrisy and contradiction is from the devil. No one should call themselves pro-life and say they have good moral values while choosing to live a life of fornication. The sacred act of sexual expression is reserved to marriage alone, for two basic reasons.

  • The first you mention, pregnancy. Sex outside of marriage is unfair to the conceived child.
  • Secondly, it causes a natural permanent bond of intimacy between two people that can only be expressed morally within the permanent unconditional public commitment which is marriage.

I love science and many Catholics are scientists. Modern science would not exist as it is today if not for early Catholic scientific pioneers. For those with open minds, science gradually brings the mind and heart to the first Cause of all, God. The awe and wonder of nature and the universe brings us closer, not further, from God.

Do yourself a favor and pray that you will be open to the grace God wants to give you to overcome the world. That is what He did and He invited all His followers to do the same (John 16:33).

Don't say no to Jesus. Through prayer, the sacraments, and an attitude of continuous and diligent rejection of sin in the world and in one's daily life, one can obtain and maintain the happiness that fulfills one's life here on earth and eternal life with God in the next. St. Alphonsus Liquori once said:

Those who pray are certainly saved; those who do not pray are certainly damned.

Peace,

Paul

Bob replied:

Al,

You are going through all the normal transitions from childhood to adulthood. You need to find out whether your faith is your own or your parents. Jesus loves you and wants to have a real relationship with you but that will require work and sacrifice on your part. Going through the ritual motions is not enough to maintain a healthy relationship. You need to have prayer in your life even if it is dry at best. You are not the first person to feel the absence of something emotional in their prayer life. Mother Teresa went through that for decades.

Right now you are not strong enough to resist the influence of the culture around you so you are active sexually and doing things that will distance yourself from God's grace. In order to get on a road that will improve your relationship with God, you need to remove sin from your life (at least the conscious deliberate kind). I've been through everything you described and had to go through a lot of pain before I woke up and decided what kind of life I wanted to live. Don't go through distancing yourself from God so that you have many regrets.

Remember, God loves you, and is on your side. He's not holding anything against you but wants you to get right with him. There is an enemy of God that seeks to destroy all those that God loves because that is his way of attacking God, therefore he will try to destroy you, and it is by a clever subtle tactic that it all takes place. Don't be duped by the deceiver.

God is real, and is love, and asks and requires us to separate ourselves from evil, by his grace, so that we may live with him for all eternity. That is the endgame, plain and simple.

Choose life one more time.

Peace,

Bob Kirby

Please report any and all typos or grammatical errors.
Suggestions for this web page and the web site can be sent to Mike Humphrey
© 2012 Panoramic Sites
The Early Church Fathers Church Fathers on the Primacy of Peter. The Early Church Fathers on the Catholic Church and the term Catholic. The Early Church Fathers on the importance of the Roman Catholic Church centered in Rome.