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Rafael Dela Cruz wrote:

Hi, guys —

I have a female friend who has a family but is not married. They've been living together for eight years now with two children. The woman is currently having an affair with another man who is single.

From a Catholic standpoint my questions are:

  • Is she guilty of adultery in having a family without marriage?
  • Is she guilty of adultery with her relationship with another man since she is not legally married?
  • What is the best way to approach this situation with her since this is treated as a normal situation nowadays?

Thanks and God Bless.


  { What is the best way to approach this situation seeing this is seen as a normal situation nowadays? }

Mike replied:

Dear Rafael,

Although the Church would disapprove of any cohabitation outside of marriage, No, your female friend is not guilt of adultery, as at least one of the couples has to be married.

You should do two things:

  1. Pray for your friend — that she see the value and importance of Christian marriage. Though economical times are tough on everyone and marriages can be expensive, they don’t have to be.

    In the long run, playing house outside the bonds of marriage will not provide the sacramental graces that are needed to make a life-long Christian marital commitment happen and sadly many get emotionally hurt in the long run when they decide to cohabitant outside of marriage.

  2. Correct with charity, once. One the hardest things can be to respect a close friend's
    free will to make dumb choices. If at the end, she makes a bad choice that she regrets,
    be there to pick her up and encourage her to make better Catholic choices.

That’s my two cents!

I hope this helps,


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