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Daniel With Desires wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am having desires over Sister Mary. She is a Nun in the Church in England and is so sweet.
She is helpful, kind, and affectionate and has the most beautiful eyes God has given out.

  • I know they are not allowed to marry but are they allowed to love a man?
  • Is it wrong of me to fantasize over her?
  • Would she be sacked if she and I entered into a sexual relationship?

Please help.


  { Are Nuns allowed to love men, is it wrong to fantasize over one, and can she be sacked for this? }

Paul replied:


First, it is morally wrong for anyone to enter a sexual relationship without being married to each other. If you are a source of temptation for her, you should immediately stop being so even if it means removing yourself completely from her life.

  • If she has taken her final vows, it is incumbent on her to fulfill her obligation to God and the community by remaining celibate and chaste — in mind, heart, and body. She would have a special kind of marriage with Jesus.

  • If she is a postulate or testing the waters about becoming a religious sister, it is morally possible for her to change her mind and return to seeking marriage as a state of life.

If I'm not mistaken, something similar happened to Maria von Trapp in the movie, The Sound of Music, however, in this case, she would have to officially leave the religious order before dating anyone.

Pray that God may orient your heart in the right direction; and in the meantime, you must will yourself to stop fantasizing and hoping for any relationship that is immoral.

It may be painful, but doing what is good can often be at first difficult.



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