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CarolCohabitating wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • Why do you have to be married to have children?


  { Why do you have to be married to have children? }

Mike replied:

Dear Carol,

Thanks for the question.

Physiologically there is no reason why you can’t have children.

Scientifically there are very, very good reasons to get married.

Many reading this answer are probably expecting a religious answer and while there are good, moral, religious reasons, they are backed by scientific ones.

Recently, studies have come out saying that people who marry and attend Sunday Church services on a regular basis are among the happiest people in life, even sexually happy.

One person speculated that the reasons behind this were couples who run into marital issues and problems have a network of other religiously like-minded couples at their Sunday congregation along with the [pastor / minister] who can help and aid them in difficult situations. A couple that goes it alone does not.

Since most families still view Christian marriage as the norm in society, if a couple is playing house outside of marriage, there are probably already family tensions and bitterness within the family due to the non-marital situation which can make it more difficult to get this support.

Besides the scientific reasons why men and women should get married, there are also reasons based on the common good for society. For a Christian culture to survive from generation to generation, there has to be a realization that God's commandment to be fruitful and multiple must be carried out from generation to generation by couples (men and women) who can bring forth new life. Otherwise, there would be no people for the next generation. As generational birth rates go down, the result is, no one is left to take care of the elderly. Stable, long-lasting Christian marriages ensures the next generation of Christians are there to spread the Gospel.

A sad development in our modern culture is that some Christians are being persuaded by the gay culture to accept same-sex behavior as a norm, though it is physiologically abnormal. (e.g. two men cannot bring forth new life.) It's a learned behavior focused on self-pleasure and hedonism rather that bringing forth the next generation of Christians.

Besides the scientific and common good reasons why men and women should get married, there are also the religious reasons.

This was God’s intent when He created man and woman: for them to go forth and multiple the earth with children but even Our Lord Jesus Himself made it very clear: the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Our Lord’s point: those strong passions of the flesh have to be channeled correctly. This is why the Catholic Church knows, though the Oral Tradition that has been passed down to us, that Jesus instituted the sacrament of marriage. So the marital bond is not only between a man and his wife but between a man and a woman and God Himself, who is the Krazy glue that bonds the two together in a sacramental marriage, giving it a far greater chance of being joyful, happy, long-lasting to death, and successful.

A couple that decides not to get married, yet have children, are setting their children up for major spiritual trails: scientifically and religiously. The children will never be taught to value Catholic Christian married life.

  • Will there be times of suffering? Sure
  • Will there be times of joy? Sure
  • Will there be the shining/luminous times? Sure

A couple’s marital life together is patterned after the Rosary itself and is why the Church encourages everyone, even atheists, to pray the Rosary regularly. Just Google for a free one on-line.

You also may be interested in this:

I hope this helps,


Fr. Jonathan replied:

Hi, Carol —

I don't disagree with Mike's answer but my answer would have concentrated on Natural Law.

We as Catholics believe marriage is what God intended for us.

Hope this helps,

Fr. Jonathan

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