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Anna Smolinski wrote:

Hi, guys —

I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who is now 10 month old. I had her baptized on September 1st 2013. I think I made a mistake when choosing a Godmother. Sadly though, there wasn't anyone else. The Godmother was raised a Roman Catholic but doesn't attend church nor believes in Confession. She says can just confess her sins to God. I try and explain to her the reasons why Catholics confess to their priests but she just doesn't follow the Bible in this area. She cannot be a Catholic if she makes up her own rules.

  • I've made a mistake, haven't I?

I believe that she is a good person at heart who has committed grave sins like adultery, and I knew that when I asked her. A Godparent is someone who can show the way to God for that child, if a parent isn't able to and much more. I knew this all before I asked her. I just honestly had no one else. My sister-in-law lives in sin and she doesn't believe in the Church either. She isn't an active Catholic; neither of them are. I'm a single mother and I wanted my child to have at least both Godparents.

  • Am I selfish for that?
  • What can I do now?
  • Have I sinned by choosing her?
  • Have I forsaken my daughter?

She will grow up a Catholic. I'm just saddened by the regret I feel, that her Godmother is a non-believer. Well, not exactly, because she does believe in God and she prays, but yet again, only when she needs help. : ( I love my baby girl's Godmother. She is my best friend and I do try to inspire her to attend church with me but to no avail. She is either too tired, has no time, or is too hung over. She has been baptized and has received her First Communion and Confirmation. She was married in a church by a priest.

She met all the requirements but unfortunately not the requirements she needed to truly take on the roll of a Godmother.


  { What should I do if I chose a spiritually weak Godmother when there were no better choices? }

Bob replied:


It may be too late to change your daughter's official godmother, but that doesn't mean that you can't have other faith mentors in your child's life. You can have someone else step in as practical godmother when the child is older. Though the title may be absent, the effect would not be.

In the meantime, pray for your friend. God may work in her life and make her come around when she is needed. Don't worry about the mistake. If it bothers you, bring it to Confession, but move on. Don't let it bother you over your child's future — no matter what, she is in God's Hands.


Bob Kirby

Mike replied:

Hi Ann,

This is a common question; it's even in our searchable knowledge base:

There are a lot of quick answers there, so give it a try.

I searched the knowledge base for you and found these web postings that may help:

Although other God parents may be able to be added to the Baptismal record, it would be at the prudential judgment of the local bishop in your diocese.

I hope this helps,


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