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Cory Howell wrote:

Hi, guys —

About 13 years ago, I seriously considered converting from Protestantism to Catholicism, but I was newly married at the time and my wife was strongly opposed to the idea. So I didn't.

Well, I've been happily married for almost 14 years and we have two daughters now. Lately, I've been feeling the call of Rome quite strongly and I am once again seriously considering conversion to Catholicism.

  • I just wonder, is it a good idea to convert, even if my spouse is still opposed to the idea?
  • And, what about the children?
  • How do I work that out, if my wife doesn't want them to be raised Catholic, but I do?

My wife had her tubes tied after our second daughter was born. I don't know if that makes a single bit of difference but I thought it might be relevant.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Cory Howell

  { Should I convert, even if my spouse is opposed to the idea, and what about our children? }

Mike replied:

Hi Cory,

Thanks for the question.

You said:

  • I just wonder, is it a good idea to convert, even if my spouse is still opposed to the idea?

Yes, it would be a good idea and would bring many blessings to your marriage and family life.
The big blessings come in the sacramental life of the Church.

  • Why is your wife against you joining the Church?

Maybe we can help clear up some misperceptions she may have or if there are specific ones
she can search our database here:

http://www.AskACatholic.com/SiteSearch

You said:

  • And, what about the children?
  • How do I work that out, if my wife doesn't want them to be raised Catholic, but I do?

You would be making the promise, as a Catholic, to have current and any future child raised in the Faith. Your wife would only be a witness to your promise and agree not to interfere.

Hope this helps,

Mike

Fr. Jonathan replied:

Hi, Cory —

Here are things you might consider:

  1. Joining the Church is a journey. It is usually a RCIA program. Once one signs up for RCIA, it begins the journey — it doesn't end it. You could encourage your wife to also join and see if it is for her.
  2. This worry about family is an ancient worry. The earliest Christians struggled with this same thing. I think the attitude has to be to go where God is calling and being respectful of your wife's hesitations.
  3. Make the decision about the children later — join the RCIA and find out about faith.
  4. Consider reading Scott and Kimberly Hahn's book Rome sweet Home: Our Journey to Catholicism. It is a wonderful book but it also shows how a husband and wife took two very separate journeys to the Catholic faith.
  5. Your wife having her tubes tied should not prevent anything.

I hope this helps,

Fr. Jonathan

Mike replied:

Hi, Cory —

Fr. Jonathan said:
— join the RCIA and find out about faith.

Father brings up an important point. Just because one is taking RCIA classes doesn't mean they have committed to becoming a Catholic. RCIA is a period of time where you study and find out what we believe.

After studying, if you don't believe the Catholic faith is for you, you have no obligation to join.
All the Church would ask is that you evaluate the Church on Her teachings, not on how good or bad the program is run.

Seeing you may be preparing to take RCIA classes in the near future, I would encourage you to consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as faithful Catholics.

I hope this helps,

Mike

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