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Paula wrote:

Hi, guys —

My husband and I know that using contraception is a sin so we are using the rhythm method to try to avoid getting pregnant. I can't get pregnant for a year and a half because I recently had a baby by C section, otherwise we have committed ourselves to accepting any children God blesses us with, so this wasn't an issue before.

I guess the reason behind it doesn't matter. What I really want to know is:

  • Within marriage, is it okay for him to complete the act in other ways such as oral sex?
  • Or, is it a sin if it isn't completed in the conventional way?
  • Also, is the pull out method a sin too?

I just feel terrible that I can't give him what he needs more because we have to be so careful. We have been married just over a year and I'm also afraid that not being able to have sex very often will affect our marriage because of lack of intimacy (and I have needs too). I don't want to get him aroused if he can't have the release, nor do I want to live our marriage in sin. I'm honestly too embarrassed to ask our priest and I wouldn't know how to word it if I did.

Paula

  { Within marriage is it okay for him to complete the marital act, in other ways, such as oral sex? }

Paul replied:

Dear Paula,

Male ejaculation must occur in the vagina.

Anywhere else is a violation of natural law and is a matter of mortal sin. Otherwise, it is not a completed marital act, but a perverted one.

Sometimes the greatest need we have is the need for self control.

Peace,

Paul

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