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LeslieInLove wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am engaged to a wonderful man, Michael. We are a couple who found each other and, with each other, we found Christ. He gave our relationship true meaning and love. We are growing with God every day and with each other. We will be celebrating our marriage in front of God, family and friends on June 29, 2013, and we made plans to receive our marriage license in a week.

Before we got spiritually involved with our forgiving God, we were already having sexual intercourse. We acknowledge pre-marital sex is a sin and we decided to become celibate.

  • If we love each other and:
    • we both know that God created me from Michael's flesh and bones, and
    • that we were truly made for each other, and
    • are indeed soul mates
  • Why is having sexual relationship before marriage wrong, when deep down inside we both know and God knows in our hearts we are truly one? ... that we are living life together eternally?
  • Once we receive our marriage license, would having sex with Michael still be wrong?

We made a covenant with each other in front of God at our church that we will be together eternally. With God as our center, we will be strong and faithful to one another as we live this every day.

  • Is this selfish one our part?

We need guidance, advice, and pointers.

Thank you for reading.

God bless.


  { If we love each other and God created me from him, what is wrong with pre-marital sex? }

Paul replied:

Dear Leslie,

First, God will be the judge of whether you will be with him — and with God, the angels and saints — eternally. Marriage is a temporal (earthly) institution, not an eternal one. That is the realm of the marriage between Christ and His Church. Although you two might be close among the communion of saints in eternity, there is no marriage in Heaven.

Secondly, one never knows for sure what will happen in one's life until it happens. Let me give you an analogy. If I fall in love with a package of cookies and place them in my cart in the supermarket, I have no right at that point to open the package and begin eating them.

  • I could change my mind at the last minute
  • I could decide on another package of cookies
  • I could slip and fall
  • There may be an earthquake, or
  • I could have heart failure before I purchase them.

The bottom line is those cookies belong to the store owner before and until I purchase them to make them my own.

That is what marriage is — a purchase by consent of a covenantal contract that makes you each other's permanently until death. He is not yours in a marital sense — regardless of how you feel toward each other — until those marital vows are made in the midst of God and the community at your wedding. Premarital sex is literally the taking of something (and someone) that is not (yet) yours, that doesn't belong to you, and to which you have no right to.

There are many other dimensions to the truth as to why premarital sex is a serious sin, but I'll leave you with this for now.


[Additional Added Reference: Why Premarital Sex is Stupid.]

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