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Mallory wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am Catholic and my whole family is Catholic up until now. My sister has been dating a Methodist and it was our hope that he would convert to the faith as one of my parents did.

They announced their engagement and plans to get married in the Spring and she asked me to be her Maid of Honor to which I obviously agreed.

Now she has announced that she is leaving the Catholic faith to become a Methodist.

I really want to support my sister during this hard time but I do not want to support such a marriage and go against the Catholic faith.

  • Am I allowed to be the Maid of Honor or even attend their ceremony?

I can't find any real answers to this and there seems to be a bit of a grey area so I would appreciate any assistance.

Thanks!!

Mallory

  { If my sister leaves the Catholic faith to marry her fiancé, can I still be her Maid of Honor? }

Fr. Jonathan replied:

Dear Mallory,

There is no definitive answer to this question because it varies with the situation.

Clearly you do not want to send the message of indifferentism to your sister. You want to be clear to her that you do not approve.

As to your being Maid of Honor at this wedding, you should do what is best for your sister's faith.

  • If your going sends a message that her conversion is fine with you, then you should not go.
  • However, if your not going is going to drive her farther away from the Church then maybe you should go.

Perhaps a compromise could be made where you go to the reception but refuse to stand up for her in Church.

The best choice will only come through prayer and discernment. If you let the Holy Spirit tell you what to do, you won't go wrong.

  • What is best for the salvation of her soul?

    — do that.

Fr. Jonathan

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