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Scott wrote:

Hi, guys —

I used to be a God nut, not in a bad way, but I wanted to be a priest. It ranked right there with astronaut! I lost it though. I stopped praying then just really didn't care what He thought.

Anyway, I got married and we had two children then my wife's doctor suggested that she get her tubes tied. I encouraged it and she wasn't against it but I feel responsible now, like if I had done the right thing and told her not to get her tubes tied, she wouldn't have done it. We've talked to the doctor about undoing it and they said that type cannot be undone.

At the time, it wasn't a problem, but now that I have found my way back to Church it is tearing me up. I watch all these people receiving Holy Communion knowing that I can never receive again. From my viewpoint, this is not something a simple Confession can fix. This was a permanent thing and so is the sin. This has been eating at me for years.

  • Am I wrong to feel like this?

I pray that one way or another I get answers. Of all the things in life to miss, not receiving the Blessed Sacrament hurts the most. I miss it more than anything in this world.


  { Am I wrong for feeling this way after encouraging my wife to get her tubes tied? }

Paul replied:

Dear Scott,

I have both practical and spiritual advice. The practical advice is to get another opinion on whether your wife's operation can be undone. If it cannot, then you should diligently practice natural family planning as a couple, as if she could become pregnant. This is one way to atone for what has happened.

The spiritual advice is to contact your pastor ASAP. If you have sincerely repented, which it seems you have, then the Sacrament of Confession should enable you to receive our Lord in Holy Communion again; the same holds true for your wife. But first make an appointment with your pastor to explain your situation. His formula for penance may be different than what I suggested and may take some advance thought on his part before you make your actual Confession.



Scott replied:

Thanks Paul.

Originally, it couldn't be undone, but they botched it so bad, now everything is going to have to be removed. I've had problems with pastors recently. It takes me awhile, not so much trust them but, to know and get acquainted with the pastor. Just as I was getting to know our last one, we have a new one.

That may be the perfect situation though.

Thanks again!


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