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My cousin was recently married. She is Catholic and has never been married. The man she married was also Catholic but has been divorced. He had applied for an annulment, but is still waiting for it to come through. They were married by a former Jesuit priest who left the order. The religious ceremony took place in a mansion, not a church. They wanted their marriage to be blessed, but nevertheless, decided that they could not wait. I attended the wedding reception along with many of my family members, however we were not totally aware of all the facts.
I have no idea what would have been the appropriate thing to do. I am not extremely close to my cousin, though, and so did not feel comfortable prying. I figured I could not make a judgement based on what did not know.
Please shed some light for me — Anyone.
Larry
{
Can you tell me if, in this situation, a second marriage before receiving an annulment is valid? }
Mike replied:
Dear Larry,
I wish we could help but your question is one that should be directed toward the marriage tribunal. As stated on our question page:
None of us on this site would be able to make any helpful comments because we can't give either positive or negative answers on questions that are out of our realm of expertise.
We would be second guessing on judgments we trust the Church to make.
Although your cousin wanted their marriage blessed, it appears they didn't really care for the Church's opinion.
Waiting for a reply would have been the appropriate thing to do.
What we know is for a Catholic to have a valid marriage, they have to marry according to form.
Meaning:
they must marry in the Church (easy)
if they marry a non-Catholic, they must get a disposition from the local bishop,
(pretty easy) and
though, the non-Catholic spouse does not have to change their faith, they must agree not to interfere with the children of their marriage being raised Catholic.
Mike
Eric replied:
Larry —
While my colleague is correct and we are not trained in canon law, this situation looks quite doubtful. The Church's principle is that if someone got married and their spouse has not died, before they can marry someone else after a divorce, they need to get an annulment to prove that the previous marriage was not actually valid.
If an annulment is in process and you attempt to marry before it completes, that marriage would not be considered valid (that is, it is not a real marriage in the eyes of God). That's fairly straightforward.
Generally, it is not advisable to attend the wedding of a marriage you know to be invalid (which, in this case, the evidence is strong that it would have been). This would give scandal as it has the appearance of endorsing the action.
It is canonically forbidden to serve as a witness (best man/maid of honor) for such a wedding.
In extreme circumstances — say it was an immediate family member and (not to attend) would cause irreparable harm — it might be permissible to attend if your disapproval was made clear.
Eric
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