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Thomas wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • Is it morally wrong for a gay man to marry a woman?

Thomas

  { Is it morally wrong for a gay man to marry a woman? }

Paul replied:

Dear Thomas,

In my opinion, there should be no labeling of "gay" when it comes to people. There are men that predominantly have an attraction to members of the same sex, but this is what they feel, not who they are.

Those who have these disordered attractions should probably not marry. It is important to have a spousal attraction to one's spouse. If that is missing, then postponement of marriage should be considered. More specifically, if one cannot consummate their marriage in a truly human way, without the aid of external stimulators, that is a solid sign that marriage should not be undertaken.

Needless to say, if there are other ulterior motives for marriage other than spousal love, it should not be undertaken, as the marriage would not be valid.

Peace,

Paul

Eric replied:

Thomas —

It's important to note that if a man with same-sex attraction decides to marry a woman, he must disclose his condition to her because it is a material factor in accepting the proposal of marriage. To do otherwise, would make the marriage invalid, that is to say, not actually a marriage in the eyes of God.

Many men in this condition, have married women (and had children) and later left them (often for men), unable, apparently, to carry on in this fashion. So you must be careful that you don't risk ruining someone's life.

It might be good to discuss this with a therapist who is an expert on the topic.

Call 888-364-4744 and ask for a referral. Also, check out: http://www.narth.com.

Eric

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