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Pat Folino wrote:

Hi, guys —

A male relative of mine in his 50's has just informed us that he is gay and is living with another man. We are having a family weekend birthday celebration and he is coming with his "boyfriend". There will be young children in the group.

  • What is the correct way to deal with this situation?
  • Obviously, if they are showing any signs of affection, we will remove the children, but in general, how should we behave toward him and his "friend"?

Suddenly, "Love the sinner; hate the sin" isn't so easy to deal with face to face when it's someone I love.

Please help!

Thank you.


  { How do we behave toward our male relative and his gay friend at our birthday celebration? }

Mary Ann replied:

Pat —

You are under no obligation to accept this couple as a couple, nor should you, in the presence of children. If you did not invite him, it is presumptuous and rude for your relative to bring him.

If it is unavoidable at this point, you must ask them ahead of time to refrain from presenting themselves, or acting, as anything but friends. Anything more would give scandal, and you, yourself, would be guilty of giving scandal by appearing to accept the relationship.

They cannot ask you to violate your conscience, the sanctity of your home, and the innocence of your children, by forcing you to accept them on their own terms. If they insist on their own terms, they are not welcome.

Mary Ann

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