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Seeking but Confused wrote:

Hi, guys —

My son (18 years old) has just came to us to say he is gay. We am not sure how to handle this.
We are a very Catholic family — 13 years in Catholic school and he said he has been this way for a while now. We just don't know where to go to help him. I don't believe this. I think he is reaching for attention from all his friends. He told me they all know and are completely OK with it.

A good friend of mine had holy water that was blessed by a priest (who has done exorcisms).
I have sprinkled it all over his room, shoes, and clothes. I just want to say the right things to him, of course; we do not want to loose him and feel at this time we need to focus on helping him before he chooses to walk down that dark path.

Any information or insight on how to handle this would be appreciated.

Thank you and keep us in your prayers.

Seeking but Confused

  { Our family just found out our son was gay and we don't know how to respond. }

Mary Ann replied:

Dear Seeking but Confused —

This is beyond our competence to advise on a personal level. On the level of doctrine, be sure he is aware of Catholic teaching in the Catechism, and of the existence of a group called Courage.

Second, I would make sure he knows the truth about the lifestyle and its effects:

  • short life span
  • health problems
  • domestic violence
  • promiscuity
  • inclination toward to the young [by survey]

If he is truly homosexual, he may see only the romantic search for (self, really) love, and not the reality.

I would also read and share the works of Gerard van den Aardveg, a Dutch psychiatrist who has a deep understanding for homosexuals, and ways to help them.

Personally, if he were my child, I would ask him if he had ever been molested, or if anyone had helped him discover that he is homosexual. Bear in mind that it is now politically correct and fashionable to "be gay" ... it does gain attention, even from girls.

Side note: Mike also recommends checking out Doctor Joseph Nicolosi.  He founded NARTH — National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. You can contact them here.

Mary Ann

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