Hi, Tina —

Thanks for the question.

First I want o applaud you for wanting to make your marital situation holy with the Church. Over the past few years we have seen a rise in people like you, who know their marriage is not right, but, IF POSSIBLE, want to make it right with the Church.

I'm sure all of us at AskACatholic wish the process was easy for everyone, but because there can be various nuances for each couple, the Church has to ensure it is not blessing bigamy.

It's my understanding that a baptized Catholic has to be married in the Catholic Church for a valid sacramental marriage.

At the first reading of your question, you appear to be in a hopeful situation. The Deacon gave you good advice and you should follow what he and the pastor of your Church tells you. You didn't mention it, but I assume you are Catholic yourself.

If a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, he or she has to first get a dispensation from the bishop.

The non-Catholic spouse also has to agree to have the children from their marital love, brought up Catholic.

My Cliff notes approach:

• Say the family rosary together if possible
• Follow what the Deacon and pastor have to say
• if you do get your marriage blessed, living a sacramental life is a powerful means to destroy Satan and his legions within family life.

If I'm off on anything, I'm sure my colleagues will correct me.

I love being humbled : ) LOL

Hope this helps,

Mike