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Isabel Rivera wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • Would maintaining a friendship with an actively gay man be the same as tolerating his lifestyle?

I got the chance the other day to give him just a simple request — to use his intelligence (because he is very intelligent) to find the truth, to face the truth with courage and to integrate it in his life.

Somehow I don't have the courage yet to confront him about his actual lifestyle seeing he might be married to another guy — son of my employer.

  • Would I be sinning if I never confront him with his homosexual lifestyle?


  { Would maintaining a friendship with an actively gay man be the same as tolerating his lifestyle? }

Mary Ann replied:

Isabel —

There is no reason not to be kind and good to him, to be a true friend to him, as long as you don't indicate acceptance or amusement at his way of life. There is no need to confront or to ask him to deal intellectually with his situation. It is not just an intellectual situation.

What you could do is share your faith where appropriate, be open about your own weakness in following Christ, and Christ's strength, grace and joy.

Indicate that there is new understanding and hope for homosexual men, through the work of Gerard van den Aardweg of Holland (whose books are readily available on the internet).

A lot depends on if you are really friends, or only friendly. I think it is good if you try to practice what Mary would do:

Love and accept him as a person but that means that you don't accept those acts that hurt him.

He can't help, at the moment, his neuroses and drives, though he can come to freedom from them with a struggle and grace. He has to find something that draws him to that grace and makes the struggle worthwhile.

He could see that something — someone — reflected in you and your charity and faith.

Mary Ann

Isabel replied:

Thank you so much, and I thank The Lord for your group.

I may have other follow up questions later.


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