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Lynn wrote:

Hi, guys —

I have been having a discussion with some good-willed Catholics. One participant mentioned the dilemma of being asked to attend a gay couple's civil ceremony.

  • I was of the mind that she shouldn't attend.
  • She is of the mind that she should, to show her friendship and support.

Please help. I have googled until I can't google anymore!

This is something more and more people are faced with, even in their own families.

Thank you so much for an answer and some input.

  • Why is this not addressed somewhere yet?



  { Should I attend a gay couple's civil ceremony? }

Bob replied:


There is no declaration on this matter that I know of at the moment. I imagine it is only a matter of time, but I think common sense can prevail, especially with reference to mores and dictums of the past.

It used to be common that Catholics could not attend certain marriage rites because they were considered illicit and the act of being present was considered condoning the union. While that restriction has softened, the principle, nevertheless, remains. Your presence is taken by those present as support not only of the individuals, but of their union. A guest is, in a sense, ratifying the event. We would hold a politician accountable for attending a KKK rally as a supporter if he had no other excuse for his presence. e.g. he was a reporter, delivering pizza, etc.

I can attest from my own personal experience as a first hand witness, that this is a cultural crisis that is sweeping across our society. This year, for the first time in my many years of musicianship, I came to a wedding reception to play for the event, and did not know it was a gay marriage until I got there. I was totally shocked, but not by the brides so much as by the vast crowd that was completely immersed in the jubilation of the occasion — as much as any straight marriage. It was a telling testament to the victory the homosexual community has achieved in the culture war. We have bought it hook, line, and sinker. I felt deeply out of place, that there was no one — not even in the band — that shared my conviction that this was wrong.

For a moment I imagined what it was like for the early Christians to live within the Roman culture, whose mores were so vastly corrupted, and yet stand on their convictions and Faith and eventually win the culture battle. I thought:

  • Am I up to this task?
  • What is God asking of me?
  • What is he asking of you?

Christians will all be called to give an account of their faith, not merely in word, but in action.

If people do not begin to vote with their conscience and their feet, this tsunami will be unstoppable and will take the entire nation. I would advise your friend not to go, period.

Her presence gives credence to the event, which in the eyes of God is an abomination. A strong word, yes, but a grave distortion of His order and plan. It is an insult to God, (remember Sodom and Gomorrah), and friends of the Lord owe it to Him to make His Will known.

I hope your friend gives this more serious thought, the battle is on and we can't afford any more retreats.


Bob Kirby

Mary Ann replied:

Hi Lynn,

  • Would a Catholic support a marriage of a brother and a sister?
  • Of a man and his mother? <No!>

There is no such thing as a marriage of a man and a man, or a woman and a woman.

  • Why would someone go to support something that is a lie, and, moreover, is destructive to civil society and to marriage?
  • Why?
  • To not make people feel bad?

Since when is:

  • feeling bad
  • feeling supportive, or
  • not feeling any negativity from others about our choices

have anything to do with morality or even with rational decision-making?

Mary Ann

Mike replied:

Lynn —

I'd like to send out extra kudos for great answers from both Bob and Mary Ann.

You should not go. Just your presence, whether you mean it or not, is saying:

  • I am witnessing and approving this so-called marriage.

when there is no marriage. Marriage is a Catholic Christian term that the homosexual culture has stolen from Christianity and has bastardized a new definition of so-called marriage, which is not marriage at all.

  • Two men cannot bring forth new life solely by unifying themselves.
  • Two women cannot bring forth new life solely by unifying themselves.

A man's body was designed for a women's body.
A woman's body was designed for a man's body.

Talk to any normal doctor about the biochemical physiological made-up of a man and woman. He will tell you there is a physiological complementarity between the sexes.

These are the reasons our United States government has always given special privileges to traditional marriages:

Because the Judeo-Christian families gives back to society children to stabilize and improve the Christian culture our country was founded on. (Christopher Columbus, who founded America, was a Catholic.)

Gay unions cannot give back new life..

As a music group, Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders, said back in the 60's in their number-one hit song, the Game of Love:

The purpose of a man is to love a woman,
And the purpose of a woman is to love a man,
So come on baby let's start today, come on baby let's play
The game of love, love, la la la la la love

It started long ago in the Garden of Eden
When Adam said to Eve, baby, you're for me
So come on baby let's start today, come on baby let's play
The game of love, love, la la la la la love

Come on baby 'cause the time is right
Love your daddy with all your might
Put your arms around me, hold me tight
Play the game of love

The purpose of a man is to love a woman,

and Jesus echoes their view in the Scriptures:

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; and large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" He answered,

    "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."
(Matthew 19:1-6)

Hope this helps,


Lynn replied:

Thank you very much for your replies.

Each one expressed what I have shared on the group. I also added many Scriptural references to no avail. The Scripture references she gave were apple/oranges and invalid for our topic. She retreated, stating that she was being judged (although I affirmed her many times in my postings; decidedly separating the topic from any personal judgment.)

I had two counselors tell me that they knew better because they were counselors. It's sad because these people are not liberal. They are mostly devout. This is what upset me the most.

The participants that agreed: a person shouldn't attend something of this nature remained quiet, then coddled the poster that retreated. This was upsetting because it's one thing to see this type of immaturity amongst dissenters, but these guys are great people!

I hope the Church speaks up in the near future. Her children are ignorant and in great need of answers and help!

Thanks again,


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