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Joyce  A. Williams wrote:

Hi, guys—

I have a serious question.

My daughter is getting married, and we are putting together our wedding guest list.

Unfortunately, we have an openly gay couple in our family, and some openly heterosexuals that are living together. I feel that for us to invite those in the family with a guest would be wrong as it would be saying we agree with these arrangements, which are contrary to Church teaching.
It would also be a scandal to me.

Because most everyone knows how strongly I love the Catholic Faith, it would look like I really don't believe in what the Church teaches.

If any one of you could shed some light on this situation I would appreciate it, not so much for me, but for my daughter.

I think she is worried about the criticism she will encounter if she doesn't invite their significant others.

  • It will be hard for me too, but isn't that what our faith is about? — going against the current times and being radical for the truth?

I will pray to the Holy Spirit that I listen carefully to your response. I will be open to the possibility that I may be wrong. I can be obstinate when I want it my way!

God bless you,

Joyce A. Williams

  { Should gay couples or heterosexual couples living together be on my daughter's wedding list? }

John replied:


Assuming the openly gay couple is not going to be in everybody's face about gay marriage and so forth, I would look at it this way:

It's not like you are being asked to attend a gay wedding or put your stamp of approval on the those living in a state fornication: be it straight, or gay.

Jesus socialized with everyone. We are called to be a light to the world. That doesn't just mean preaching fire and brimstone. It means treating people with dignity. We spread the Gospel by living our Catholic lives in front of people — all people.

If you are going to place a litmus test of fidelity to Catholic doctrine to invite folks to a wedding, you are placing a higher standard than the Church puts on people attending Mass.

Everyone is welcome to come to Mass. Yes, the participation in the Eucharist is reserved for Catholics in a state of grace, but even non-Catholics are allowed to attend.

  • Are you going to ask all the Catholic married couples to fill out an affidavit saying they don't practice artificial birth control before you invite them to the wedding?
  • Are you inviting non-Catholics to the wedding? — they don't even hold to Catholic doctrines.

My suggestion is to let the light of an authentic Catholic marriage shine in front of those who practice a counterfeit faith.

John DiMascio

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