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Donald wrote:

Dear Religious person,

I am a man in the middle of life. I have been a Catholic all my life. I was raised in your schools and still read the Bible as often as I can. I work long hours at night and live alone.

  • My question is why does God not hear my prayers?

They are prayers of a sinner who is in love with what he can never have and I cannot give up these thoughts. I have tried. The person I was sinning with has moved on to do the same thing to other lonely men as myself. He seems to never suffer any feelings of hurt. Of course, he is rich and married, hates his wife but will never get a divorce. He just enjoys cheating.

I go on alone and carry the lost feelings and pray a lot asking God why I have to feel this way.
I mean the man no harm; I only pray for him to enjoy a good life, and I wish God would take mine so I do not have to feel the way I do and be alone any more.

Sorry, but I needed to get this out.

Thanks,

Don

  { Why do I have these feelings and why isn't God listening to my prayers? }

Eric replied:

Well Don,

Maybe he is hearing your prayers, and the answer is "no". Perhaps it sounds trite, but as difficult as it may be to endure, sometimes God allows unpleasant things for some purpose, perhaps a purpose we'll never know until we get to Heaven.

Now truth be told, I would doubt that God never listens to any of your prayers. It may be that you are only praying for a few things God does not, in his infinite wisdom, want you to have.

You don't expressly say what you're praying for, but suppose it is for your same-sex attraction to go away. This is definitely a tough one.

  • Why would God allow you to have that, especially when it inclines you against His law?

Well, there's a critical level of humility you are learning in that situation. Perhaps if you didn't have it, you would think less of God, and become proud and independent of Him, and even lose your salvation. Sometimes we need to undergo suffering in order to keep us close to God. I know when I don't suffer, I tend to drift away from God and forget Him. But I'd rather suffer than fall away from Him.

Keep in mind that this life is only a preparation for the life to come.

What happens in this life matters little, except insofar as it either makes us more holy or righteous in the Resurrection, or moves us closer to Hell. Fortunately, whether a given event does one or the other is our choice, depending on how we respond to it. You may feel miserable about your life right now, but if you respond well to the adversity, it will become something that will purify you, make you more holy, and give you greater glory in the life to come. The enviable life of your former lover, on the other hand, is bringing him down to destruction. He will receive his reward in the end.

"The first shall be last, and the last will be first." Matthew 19:30

It's easy to love God when things are going well. There isn't much merit in that though. Where your love is really proven is when you love God even in adversity, when it seems He has forgotten you. This is so common an occurrence that it has a name: Dark night of the soul. Also, don't forget that there are spiritual powers acting against you, trying to get you to renounce God by making life difficult.

You might want to read the book of Job in the Bible. That's a good study on the significance of suffering.

Just set your hopes on the Resurrection, seeing your sufferings here on earth merely as stepping stones to holiness, without which no one will see the Lord. Do not count your worldly successes,
or failures; they, ultimately, do not count. What counts is that you love and bear your cross,
i.e., your adversity and sufferings patiently.

I know what it is like to be lonely, and to suffer. I know it's tremendously difficult. I've asked some of the same questions you've asked but God is there, and He cares, even if it hard to see that sometimes.

Eric Ewanco

Mary Ann replied:

Hi Don,

Serve others. Practice pure friendship with other men. Join Courage, the Catholic group for homosexuals.

Each of these in different ways will liberate you from loneliness and self-orientation.

I also recommend you read the works of Gerard van den Aardweg. He has a book for homosexuals called, "The Battle for Normality: Self-Therapy for Homosexual Persons", and he has good guidelines to help homosexuals understand and heal the roots of homosexuality.

Mary Ann

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